the better side effects

Hot coffee, music on & the peace of early morning is one of my favorite places to be in our day. Before the day starts for everyone, there’s so much unchartered potential. Then reality sets in and our day changes course over & over. Our reality is different, but it’s not all bad. A positive side effect of being so affected is the absolute enjoyment of a good moment.

“Mama. Can you smell the rain coming yet? Let’s open the window and wait for it.” –Kaitlyn

There are so many beautiful sayings about how to weather a storm, and I don’t know any of them. However; I am honored & humbled to witness the beautiful way Kaitlyn anticipates the rain & how she finds it to be the cure for most things. Just like she embraces daily challenges- she doesn’t view them as a storm at all; they’re a celebration.  Our celebrations aren’t in wrapped presents & candy- but they’re moments that Kaitlyn writes us songs for saying we love her, and Kai writes us notes and hides them so we’re surprised throughout the day. They both pretend they want to listen to Lyle Lovett with me. They make paper crafts together and tape them, everywhere.  One of the best side effects of knowing our day can change in a second; is the way we embrace the moment we’re in better.

I never saw the beauty in a big strand of grass in an overgrown lawn before Kaitlyn showed me. We were on our way to get Kai from school when she noticed this one strand of grass taller than the rest. She thinks it’s the most beautiful, fantastic lawn success story. “Look how TALL that one got! It’s such a great flower.” It’s not a flower.. yet if you listen to Kaitlyn, you’ll be convinced it is too. So now we put strands of grass in jars and celebrate them.

Kaitlyn & Kai love the footbath contraption we got for Christmas. Kaitlyn giggles the whole time and Kai pretends he is at a fancy place that has a footbath. He comes up with a different accent every time he uses it. One morning- Kaitlyn was wide-awake and all smiles. I had this fancy shower gel with a golden lid we also got for Christmas and Kaitlyn loves how it smells. So to upgrade the footbath experience, I came up with the genius plan to add the fancy shower gel. Bubbles. EVERYWHERE. Erps. I should have seen that coming, but I didn’t.  It really was an upgrade after all.  Our floor was cleaner, and Kaitlyn was the happiest I’d seen her. She couldn’t stop laughing. At first she was a little worried something went wrong & then she was ecstatic about all that was right.

Baseball season is finally here again. Watching Kai play baseball is such a refreshingly fun event. He takes it so seriously, and he keeps his eye on so much. I love the moment he sees me & he doesn’t think anyone is looking- I get the best Kai smiles then.  He tolerates all my uniform purchasing fails. Wrong socks, wrong color belt, etc. We seem to get it ironed out eventually. His first year of T-ball I lost the plastic cup in the laundry black hole & tried all the knockoff Tupperware we had. He was a bit square the first game, but we thankfully haven’t had that uniform failure since. Last year, he was really into wearing his pants backwards because he liked having his gum in his front pocket. I also can’t wait for nights watching baseball on TV with Kai, even though we never root for the same team. I always hope the Giants win, and Kai is all Yankees & anyone but the Giants.  Kaitlyn joins in when she’s awake & usually picks the Giants unless Kai did something very sweet while they were minecrafting earlier or he somehow bribed her.  I love how Kaitlyn thinks it’s all so hilarious.

“I think your ultimate day would be firemen singing Lyle Lovett songs and making you coffee.” –Kai

“I just love wishing on stars. Or even planets. Anything that’s so glowy probably can handle a wish or two.” -Kaitlyn

There are all kinds of side effects- ones we have seen with Kaitlyn have been the scariest in our experience. Medicinal side effects can be temporary- we can stop medications when the toll it takes on her outweighs any benefit. The toll this all takes on us as a little family doesn’t seem very temporary and we’re still trying to find our way. Thankfully though, the benefits aren’t temporary at all. This perspective we collectively and individually have; it’s a part of us now. I don’t wish this kind of worry on anyone- but realizing what’s important in a day is instrumental in our appreciation of what’s good and right in our moments. For that, I’m incredibly thankful every day.